WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN???

This is my 8th post since committing to weekly blog entries around my health coach journey. Woo hoo! I am quite proud of that. Lesson: give myself a topic and a deadline, and I can actually write :)

So, update on the coaching process...

I am dealing with self made barriers on a couple of different fronts. They are barriers I have constructed before so I am getting rather good at it. The first is just a failure of momentum. Or a triumph of inertia. The second is all about self doubt and imposter syndrome. But is it a syndrome if you are actually an imposter?

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN???

First – the momentum/inertia battle.

As I mentioned previously, I have been in this place before.

First , the momentum: 

I get interested in a topic – very interested. I research – a lot. And I think, this is the thing that I want to do with my time. Not just right now, but in general. As a job.

And then, the inertia:

As the first energy wears off (and the self doubt begins, see below…) suddenly all of the work required to get to the next step just looks like work. Not like fun and interesting pastime. Just work.

And, it turns out, I already have quite a bit of work to do. And I have always found it challenging to structure and follow through on work that is entirely my own. I don’t owe anyone copy at a given time, so it isn’t getting written. Inertia sets in, and I do what I have always done from day to day and the project stalls.

Second – the self doubt.

These thoughts inevitably reinforce the case for inertia and keeping all things the same. Why go to the effort of all of the work of trying to build something new? It would all be for naught, as I am not actually qualified to do anything.

The field I am venturing into is squishy. I am not a fan of squishy professions. There is no licensure for being a health and diet coach, but there is for dieticians & nutritionists. But I’m not that. And I don’t want to be that. So there is the task of making a squishy thing more solid. What is it that I want to do *exactly*. But the being a not-nutritionist is definitely an issue with the self doubt.

Since last we met, I took a trip to Chicago with 2 of my favorite
people, pictured here. I made one of them myself! 

I also recognize that the way I eat and manage my health is a little weird. Most people do not consider butter and bacon health foods. Most people do not incorporate intermittent and extended fasting into their diet routines. So, there is a part of me that wonders if people will see that as crazy extreme and not want to take advice from me.

And, biggest self doubt of all. I do NOT have my own shit together. I have only been doing keto this time for a couple of months. I am waiting on blood results (in a few months) to confirm that all of this bacon and butter are doing for me what it has done for thousands of other people.

My solution for all of these problems?

Just don’t think about it that much. I don’t need to solve my insecurity this week, I just need to do a bit more writing for my website. I need to start writing those little essays that will become blog posts for my coaching site(s) that I think of when I see a particular news item, etc. I need to develop the voice I use for instructional materials vs chatty blog things.

And, I need to start using the materials I have gathered about how to set up a coaching business. I don’t need to do all of it today. Just the next chapter.

One thing at a time.

Chicago wins best library architecture

I do need to work on the inertia thing. I need to make this work a priority somehow. I do currently have a lot of tasks on my list that aren’t coaching related. They keep building up, because there really isn’t enough time in the day. But I need to recognize that that will always be true. 

There will always be too much. 

And while I do need to moderate my ambition, I cannot do everything that I want professionally while still being the parent I want to be, if I don’t make space for it. Forcibly make space for it. It will never happen.

Never.